Beard or No Beard
by Cartoon Cow
Summary: Yamamoto loves his beard but with green split ends, Aizen sending love baskets, Toushirou's obsession, and Nanao evening out beards who has the time to think straight during the captains meeting the following day? Cute one-shot please read and review


**Hi, this is just a short pointless one-shot that isn't very funny at all, but I'll leave that up to yall to decide. Please review your opinion **

" Captain Kyouraku, Captain Kyouraku!" Nanao yelled climbing onto the roof of the squad 8 barracks.

" Hello Nanao, what's the problem?" Shunsui asked tilting his hat up so he could see her.

" Head captain Yamamoto wants to see you and captain Ukitake immediately." Nanao replied.

" Well then I guess I'd better get going then." Shunsui said standing up and flash stepping towards first squad barracks.

Shunsui and Ukitake arrived about the same time," What do you think he wants?" Ukitake asked.

" Only one way to find out." Shunsui replied as squad one barracks doors swung open slowly.

Shunsui and Ukitake walked through the doors and over to the balcony where head captain Yamamoto stood facing the beautiful view of the Seireitei.

" Captain you requested us?" Shunsui asked.

" Yes….. A horrible event has happened. The most tragic event the soul society has even seen…." Yamamoto replied keeping his back turned to them.

" W-what happened?" Ukitake gasped preparing himself for the worst.

" Today…. While fixing my tea, my beard got in my tea crusher whilst I was preparing it. I tried washing the green leaf color out of it , but when I went to dry it off it got caught in the hair dryer." Yamamoto cried turning around revealing his tattered ragged beard that was shortened up to his chest.

Shunsui tried not to laugh," Well head captain I could get Nanao to even it out for you." He said desperately trying not to laugh.

" Yes I'm sure Nanao wouldn't mind at all…" Ukitake stifled his own laughter.

" This is a serious matter." Yamamoto's voice boomed as his foot struck the ground.

" Head captain Yamamoto!" Toushirou exclaimed bursting through the door," Aizen has -… what happened to your beard?" Toushirou laughed.

" Don't ask." Yamamoto replied.

" Eh Toushirou, what were you saying about Aizen?" Shunsui asked while glancing awkwardly at Ukitake as he rummaged through his shuhakusho looking for presumably candy.

" Oh." Toushirou jumped holding up a basket of flowers and scented body wash," Aizen sent this gift basket to Momo for her birthday. I think he's trying to steal her away from me." Toushirou clenched his fist." The creep didn't even leave her his number." He grumbled.

" But isn't there a letter in there?" Shunsui pointed out.

Toushirou jumped and began ripping the plastic off the basket," Oh my god!" Toushirou gasped dropping the basket.

" What is it?" Ukitake gasped dropping a box of dried persimmon to the floor.

" This scented body wash smells great!" Toushirou opened the bottle, ran to the corner and sniffed at it.

Shunsui blinked dumb founded, " Are you going to give it to her?"

Toushirou froze his sniffing, then sniffed again," Never…." He growled looking away from his corner to Shunsui.

Shunsui raised his eyebrows," So what are we going to do about my beautiful missing beard." Yamamoto stroked what was left of it gently," I mean, what Sou-taicho doesn't have a long beautiful beard to stroke and tie up in a shiny purple tie? Its mutiny I tell you."

" I have the perfect thing!" Shunsui grinned snapping his fingers.

_**Next captains meeting**_

" So by sending Momo Hinamori a box of scented body wash we believe h e has gone mentally unstable and will send butterflies next. We must prepare to battle these winged creatures for they'll kill if given the chance to-." Yamamoto rambled on.

Ichigo leaned in close to Shunsui," Is that a goat tail tapped to his chin?"

Shunsui muffled a laugh," Yeah."

Ichigo blinked twice then snickered," Captain Goat Beard I thought I told you butterflies are harmless creatures!" he died lauging.

Yamamoto's face burnt red," KURRROSAKIIII IIIICHIIIGO!"""

**Did you like it? This was something I wrote when I first began writing fanfictions. Sorry If it isn't funny. Please review **


End file.
